Fade
by T.A. Medley
Summary: As Helga deals with trials of life, she finds an unexpected shoulder to lean on and in the end find love in. An Arnold and Helga love story.


Fade

T.A. Medley

Genre: Drama/Romance/Angst

Rating PG-13

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            The rain beats down upon her windowsill, threatening to break the glass with its ferocity. A young girl, no older than seventeen raises her head and watches as the sky illuminates once again as a jagged fork of lightening flashes across the sky. She looks from the midnight blue sky to the barren white washed walls of her surrounding premises. Another tear slides down her face, dripping into a puddle of pain that had accumulated in her life over these seventeen long years.

_I try to breathe, memories overtaking me,_

_I try to face them but the thought is too much to conceive._

            Her stomach churns as she rushes to the toilet and buries her head into the bowl as the contents of her pain escape from her, reality purges itself from her body; an empty bottle of Vodka drops to the floor. Her body sways and drops to the ground as she holds herself tightly in a fetal position, wiping the thick liquid from her mouth as her body shakes with desperation. Sobs, desperate sobs, are audible as the rumble of thunder subsides and the sky lights up once again.

_I only know what I can change everything else just stays the same,_

_So I step out of the darkness that my life became_

            She cries out as she picks up the empty bottle and hurls it against the wall; it shatters into many miniscule pieces, as small as teardrops, as hard as bone. She rests her back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling and closing her eyes. Her lip trembles as she raises her frail body slowly. Her hand grips the slippery doorknob as she turns and walks out of the bathroom. Trudging down the dim hallway she notices the portraits on the wall. Portraits of Olga, of Olga and Miriam, of Olga, Miriam, and Bob. And one, just one of her alone with a scowl upon her face. Anger that hid the pain, the constant pain, that after seventeen years, has devoured her completely and left her to exist as an empty shell of nothing.

_I just needed to talk to,_

_You were just to busy with yourself,_

_You were never there for me,_

_To express how I felt._

_I just stuffed it down_

_Now I'm older and I feel like I could let_

_Some of this anger fade_

_But it seems the surface I am scratching_

_Is the bed that I have made._

            She couldn't do this. Live. It hurt too much to everyday to see what you want and know that you can't have it. As she laid herself upon her bed, she sat for hours and wondered what it felt like to have a mother, a father, who…

Loves you. She closed her eyes as she brought her hand to her fevered brow. So many things had happened in the last eight years within her home. Olga moved back and then got married and moved to France with her husband Jacques and their two kids Emma and Maurice. Her mother had been diagnosed with a rare from of liver disease from digesting too much alcohol. She had always promised herself that she wouldn't drink, for she saw what it did to her mother. But the effects of alcohol were the only things that gave her an escape. She relished in it, she waited for it, and she hated it with a passion that could bring a beat to the heart of the deceased.

_So where were you, _

_When all this I was going through_

_Never took the time to ask me _

_Just what you could do._

            The door slammed downstairs, and she knew who it was. Her father. She hated calling him her father. He didn't deserve that title; he had never been a dad, a father. Nothing. To her, he was just a sperm donor, a man who knocked her mother up. A man who thought of her as one of his biggest mistakes. He hadn't changed. He had grown to neglect her even more. Even though then he called her Olga, at least he would acknowledge her presence. Now he even failed to do that.

I only know that I can change 

_Everything else just stays the same,_

_So now I step out of the darkness_

_That my life became_

            And her, she had changed so much. She didn't look the same. Her yellow blond hair had faded into a brownish blonde with occasional yellow streaks that glistened when the sun hit it at that perfect angel. Her eyes only got bluer, regardless of the fact that the soul behind it only became darker. Her body, once the silhouette of a shapeless girl had grown into so many curves that tracing the lines became like an intricate puzzle filled with many sudden twists and turns. Those lips, that never smiled, had become full and plump yet still no happy phrases escaped them. Her skin was as soft as a rose. Skin that you would never imagine was as tough as nails. Nothing could penetrate her now.

            She heard footsteps down the hall. Once again she had gone unnoticed even though he know she got home at the same time everyday of every week of every month for the last 3 years. At this thought the tears came again, constant tears as the door slammed once more and she knew that her father had left again for the night and would not be home from the whore houses, or the strip clubs, or the bars until light made the darkness of the night flee.

I just needed someone to talk to 

_You were just to busy with yourself,_

_You were never there for me _

_To express how I felt_

_I just stuffed it down_

_Now I'm older and I feel like_

_I could let some of this anger fade_

_But it seems the surface I am scratching _

_Is the bed that I have made._

            As her tears increased the doorbell began to ring immediately, constantly in a rhythmic beat and threatened not to stop until it was answered. She wiped her eyes gently as she rushed down the dark stairwell careful not to let her intoxication make her miss a step. She grasped the knot gently and with a gentle thrust, pulled it open and her eyes widened at what stood before her. There he was, drenched in rain, his eyes full of concern, his chest heaving up and down with anticipation.

Why must I feel this was 

_I never meant to fade, away_

_I never meant to fade_

            All the emotion within her exploded at once and she found herself falling into his arms, her tears staining his already wet sweatshirt. Her body racked with sobs as he held her small frame close, resting his head upon her shoulder, soothing her with sweet caresses. She held onto him as thought she held onto life. Unlike everything in her life, her love for him, had never changed.

I try to breathe… 


End file.
